Written: 11.29.06 Acquired: 10.11.06 Status: Cart only Price: $19.50
Developer: Arcade Zone
What kind of sick twisted game on the innocent ole Super NES would allow you, the sadistic bloodthirsty gameplayer, to partake in such boisterous barbaric brutality?
[Adventures of Yogi Bear? -Ed.]
If you answered Iron Commando, you're smarter than the average bear
[Har har -Ed.]
This is one of the harder to find beat em up's on SNES. In the handful of months which I was feverishly looking for a copy, I never found one. I was forced to summon my hired gun in Japan to scour the shops for me. And of course, he worked his magic touch and came through. This was part of my last "great package" I'll ever get... (see Jessie's Girl for more)
Is it worth the hype? Let's take a closer look...
Pick from Jack or Chang Li (no relation to Chun-Li)
Tackle the gangs alone or with a friend
The levels are varied and diverse... take a look:
In the 1st level quotes occasionally appear at the bottom. It lends a B-Movie feel to the game and oddly, only appears in this stage
Iron Commando has a myriad of weapons at your disposal. 9mm guns, rifles, machine guns, knives, baseball bats... I'm shocked there wasn't a chainsaw as well!
Now THATS what I call a double play!
Regardless of what you do this 1st boss truck will ram you. Lovely, isn't it?
2 things are required in this stage...
[Run em down shoot em down? -Ed.]
1. Constant maniacal laughter
2. Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf
That'll teach 'em...
... or maybe not
I'm such a sucker for big bosses and obstacles that flash when hit... there's something 1987 about it...
Rejects from SUNSET RIDERS!
BATTER UP! "Oh the indignity!" sez Nintendo
From sunny exterior to this flickering warehouse interior you go. It's a nice effect wouldn't you agree? Notice the SLIVER of daylight in the bottom left hand corner
After a brief jaunt, you'll face "Mr. Soukoban" Big Tom. He is the "warehouse keeper" y'know
Jack: Have a Knuckle sandwich, Jack! Big Tom: Wait, YER JACK! Jack: HA! Psychobabble won't work on me, I'm too dumb! *punches* Big Tom: OOOF!
Iron has one of the most bizarre enemy rosters you'll ever come across in a beat 'em up... talk about your gaggle of freaks and weirdo's
These serpents are unmercifully cheap and annoying. You'll hate 'em even more than the Medusa Heads in Castlevania. Yes, they're that bad
[SNAKES ON A GROUND! -Ed.]
After the freakshow, you have to contend with this crazed inhuman maniac. Not only that but the spikes on the left are constantly moving toward the right. A most deadly proposition indeed...
A fun little DID YOU KNOW fact:
These cats here were all extra's for the music video BEAT IT
SHOOT 'EM ALL! TAKE NO PRISONERS!
Oh jeez, the animal cruelty...
Like sitting (er, standing) ducks!
Yikes! I don't think this is exactly Mr. Roboto! Hit him with everything you got! Regular enemies walk in as well, so kill them to gain more weapons, but beware the robot's laser eye and giant frisky hands. This fight lasts an eternity
SO IS IT GOOD OR BAD?
Nice looking graphics eh? I feel like I'm at the arcades. It just doesn't have the "typical" SNES look. It's visually distinct, and the weapon choice is pretty cool
But here comes the "but" part.... it's a quarter-muncher, pure and simple. Even on Easy, the game's hard. You suffer countless unavoidable hits as enemies surround you. It makes it difficult to really get into a flow
The damage distribution is horrible. Doing a 3-hit combo barely ticks their health. What gives? This dragged the game down for me
You're probably assuming weapon damage ratio to be better, right? Sadly, it isn't
Cheap mandatory hits and poor damage ratio are my two biggest disputes with the game. If you can look past that, it can be a decent good time, with unique graphics and an almost B-Movie feel. The 2 player mode is a big plus
Still, one can't help but feel IRON COMMANDO should be awesome; a beat em up for the ages, a brawler lionized by a legion of fans.... rather than merely being "not shabby" or "it's pretty good, BUT..."